Mutually Assured Destruction

Oftentimes, when I write these newsletters, I share stories about things that I have been given permission to share from my coaching clients (1:1, teen, parent, group), or things I have taken away from speaking gigs. 

But today, I want to share a story about myself. 

I used to have a TERRIBLE relationship with my son. And it was because I had a terrible relationship with myself. 

I’m a single mom. And for many, many years, I blamed myself for this. And quite honestly, I hated myself for it. And that hatred was not as contained in my own head as I thought. My anger and low self-esteem seeped out of me and into every environment that I interacted with. My son watched me berate myself and began to think that’s what he should be doing to himself, too. 

I was distraught. All that time, I had thought he couldn’t see how much I struggled with myself - and yet he could, AND he was mimicking me. 

I decided enough was enough. I got myself a life coach (who I still have a relationship with to this day, and deeply appreciate), and I started working on myself. I started doing yoga again. I picked up meditation. I started cooking more, practicing positive affirmations in front of my son, and practicing forgiving myself for mistakes. 

Over time, I watched my relationship with my son begin to change. He was kinder to himself and to me. We cooked together, and he even joined me in meditation. I noticed he was more confident challenging me, but he was also more respectful and open to discussion. The more I accepted and loved myself, the more my son did the same, and it has changed our relationship forever. 

He is graduating soon and stepping into a master's program now, and we see each other less. But we are still as close as ever, and I love him deeply. 

Don’t allow your challenges with yourself to harm your kids. 

If you want a transformation like mine, schedule a free consultation with me. I’ll help you love yourself and your child love themselves, too. 

Much Love, 

Dr. Jain