Pain Perpetuates…

Emotional dysregulation: something I love to talk about as a coach and speaker, but one of the most uncomfortable topics for my clients and audiences to address. 

Emotional dysregulation is tough, especially if you’re a parent. Suppose you’ve been a reader of my newsletters for a while. In that case, you know how much I love to talk about modeling (parents acting appropriately to model behaviors and responses for their child) - and modeling is essential when dealing with emotional dysregulation. 

And, it’s the most challenging thing to do, in front of your child when you’re dysregulated. If you’re feeling out of sorts, and you carry that into your home, your children and spouse will pick up on it, and it might even hurt your children, depending on how your dysregulation is expressed. We all have those moments where we come home and throw our bag onto the counter and slap our keys down next to it; while those moments might seem like small moments of dysregulation to us, they can deeply impact our children and spouses. Whether they feel this impact emotionally, and worry about their interactions with you when you’re dysregulated, or they learn that these behaviors are appropriate responses to emotional distress, neither outcome is good.

So, how do you challenge it? 

I hate to beat a dead horse, but it is indeed modeling. When you have those bag and key chucking moments, it’s about acknowledging the dysregulation to your family out loud, and apologizing. Not apologizing for your feelings, but apologizing for the way you handled them. Tell your family members how you plan to handle them, and then show them by following through with that coping mechanism. 

Not only will it help your family - it’ll help you. It’ll help you practice giving yourself grace and help you regulate yourself in times when that’s precisely what you deserve. 

If you find yourself lost when thinking about coping mechanisms and how to regulate yourself, schedule a free consultation with me. You deserve to feel capable of handling your emotions and extending yourself grace with whatever you encounter. 

Much love, 

Unnatti Jain