*PING*

I’ve lost count of the number of parents I’ve spoken to over the years who have come to me with concerns about struggling to communicate with their teens. It comes up most in my coaching sessions, but I’ve also been approached at the end of speaking gigs in schools. 

The general thread in the last year has been mostly how social media and phones have influenced the way that parents communicate with their teens, mostly with a negative tone. 

I could never give you all the answers on how to appropriately communicate with your teen in a technological boom, but I may be able to offer a little bit of insight and direction for you to begin changing your communication with your teen within technological landscapes. 

At the end of the day, the most challenging balancing act with communicating with our teens in a technologically heavy space is to be bold enough to enter their world, and respectful enough to notice their boundaries. 

If your teenager loves TikTok, let them show you TikToks that they find funny. If they have an Instagram account, make one too and ask to follow them. Create a family group chat, and keep it active. Text with them. Be open to memes and other youthful language if they use it. Your teen will never welcome you into their world if you are never open to being accepted into it. 

Depending on your familiarity with social media, this step may seem easy (or hard). But the hardest step, in my experience, is respecting your teens' boundaries. If you follow them on social media, but they block you from viewing their story, or don’t add you to their close friends list, or they just flat out don’t want you to follow them, you need to respect that. Social media/text threads are spaces you can share with them, but at the same time, it is in many ways their private space. If they draw boundaries around that, you need to respect them. If you have safety concerns, talk to them about it. Don’t violate their privacy and risk them shutting down and being more secretive. You can have a conversation about safety without intruding on their space. 

It’s not easy to find this balance - in fact, it’s pretty damn hard. If you can relate to the struggles above, or know someone who can, parent coaching might be helpful for you. Schedule a free conversation to talk about it - I will happily help you in your parenting journey. 

Much Love, 

Dr Jain