The Role of Fathers…

After my Father’s Day newsletter went out last week, I had numerous comments from folks about how much they appreciated it. I heard it in my coaching spaces (1-2-1, family, and youth), and from a few of my speaking colleagues.

It caused me to reflect a little on the role of fathers, and more broadly men, in our society, and the way that they receive affection and care.

I have noticed over the years, especially while raising my son, that men are given affection, love, and tenderness in a different and far less frequent way than women.

My son has given his girlfriend flowers dozens of times - but I cannot recall a time he’s ever been given flowers. My son routinely asks me for hugs and kisses, and I’ve had friends comment on how “weird” it is when I show him affection. I find it strange when I see them show the same love to their daughters.

The most bewildering one to me though, is how infrequently men receive compliments. My son still talks about how one time in high school, a girl at a dance told him how nice he looked in his suit. It hurts my heart to think that he’s not the only man who’s had experiences like this. And it’s caused me to reflect on my coaching work as well.

It’s been a pattern over the years that the men I work with frequently mention feeling uncomfortable in their own skin, or that no one really likes them. And I’m wondering now how much of this is because men aren’t outwardly shown affection and care in the same way women are. It would be so damaging to your self-esteem to never see or feel overt affection!

It has inspired me to think of a few new speaking engagements that I may be able to do, targeted at men specifically. Research shows that men are far more likely to die by suicide, and face mental health struggles that they don’t seek help for, and I would like to help break that stigma. I want to remind men that they’re loved, they’re valued, and that they can and should speak up when they’re hurting.

If any of this reminds you of a man in your life (or yourself!) who needs a reminder that they’re worth it, send them my way. I have spaces for a free consultation, and I am happy to remind the men you love (or you!) that they’re worth it.

And if you know of any spaces that may benefit from a speaking event that’s tailored toward men, send them my way too. I would love to help smash the stigma and lift men up.